Melancholied

Add another to the list of spectacular, much hyped and ballyhooed holiday turkeys. Melancholia starts out with all guns a blazing with a series of amazing slow motion special effect sequences that have you wondering- Damn, if this is what he's throwing out for eye candy, I can't begin to imagine what wonder and amazement awaits the actual plot! Unfortunately, that's pretty much it for the sense of wonder in this grand non epic. You're next put through one of the most painfully bad wedding experiences you'll ever find yourself trapped in- and it doesn't get particularly better after that. 

It reminded me a lot of The Shining, where you're sequestered in a large estate with no recourse other than the promise of titanic terror, or in this case, incredible wonder- only to find out that the director is so entranced in his own personal dream state, that he's neglected to include anyone else. So you end up thinking of the movie that could have been...

There is one absolutely hilarious shot towards the end that has Kirsten Dunst splayed out completely nude in the forest primeval adorned solely by the blazing night light of impending Melancholia. It's the penultimate '50s glamour shot deluxe that's just plopped down in front of an audience with all the force of an errant planetary collision! Best line in whole movie has Kiefer Southerland admonishing his butler concerning his telescope, "You, don't touch the instrument!"

Update: It also turned out to be one of the most expensive movies I ever attended since one particularly malicious piece of popcorn decided to crack open one of my molars which will now require a crown- at least Amex is happy; they've been big fans of my teeth throughout this goddamn year!