Sunday, June 5, 2011

The Tree Of Life- Hallmark v 2001

I really wanted to like this film. Really, really wanted to like it... And I did just that for the first hour- all through the introduction of The Family, the Creation, the... dinosaurs! Every scene had a purpose, every composition- a thing of beauty! Then dad goes on a trip, and the whole damn movie leaves town with him. It drags into second gear as we delve into a son's increasing Oedipal Complex, only to get worse when dad finally comes home and it mutates into some monotonously repetitive Hallmark greeting card/hand lotion commercial where constantly articulating hand close ups are interspersed with beach landscapes of seemingly undead zombie family members wandering about aimlessly. The last hour was excruciating.

Pssst... Did I mention the entire "narration" of The Tree of Life is whispered (and in the interrogative)? And that this silent, slow motion, orangey vaginal luminescence appears every half hour for reasons unknown?

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