In Memoriam

Photo: © S. Banos

On a spectacularly beautiful Sunday afternoon, came upon one very apropos memorial for The Orlando Massacre where every name of those so needlessly killed (by someone who sought to kill that part of him he could not accept by killing those who had) was read aloud and commemorated at Mission Dolores Park in San Francisco on 6/19.

LIFE- It Don't Always Make Sense

     Photo: © S. Banos

I spent a considerable amount of time, money and effort to do "the right thing" and get my father in a different place where he would hopefully have a better time of it in his remaining years. This not to laud my own efforts, they've been absolute minimal- my mother has done the totality of the heavy lifting. And I mention it only because in the end, I succeeded in getting him placed in a setting where he this week broke his hip and now lies in a hospital post op in stable condition with a screw holding him together. 

And all he wanted to do was die in a dignified manner a few years back, when he still had his mind.

Dad

Jose Banos (1923-2016  ); Photo: © S. Banos

Like most men, my father was riddled with all too human faults and frailties, and as with most of us, it would be best to delve and concentrate on our own inadequacies. As a man, he was best defined by his life long religion of hard work. Arriving in NYC with wife in hand in 1946, the subway was a nickel, a cold water flat (in SOHO, no less) cost all of $15 per month, and when necessary (ie- Puerto Ricans weren't always treated with kid gloves), he could quit an unskilled labor job in the morning and have another by lunch. He loved his homeland dearly, but developed a strong affinity for his new island of tall buildings and even taller contradictions. He worked, endured, had a son, and ultimately retired (although he continued to work P/T till ninety). How does one reduce an entire life's frustrations and accomplishments into a few short sentences- how does life itself betray one of its very sense of self?

With each passing day my father now loses yet another small part of himself, replaced with some mutant aberration, some mocking misrepresentation of what he once was. At times, one can actually see him struggle still, trying to make sense of a situation of which he can no longer make sense of, and then just as, just as... Poof- the fog again takes hold before it ever cleared. Soon, even those brief, approximations of clarity will also dissipate. And you're left wondering- where is the fine line where you stop being you; where does your true self, the totality of all you learned, shared, succumbed to and overcome then reside? 

No amount of work will ever make sense of it.

Ain't It The Truth!

Uhhhhh... yup.    Photo: © S. Banos

Sometimes (sometimes) as I wonder about on my lifelong quest to avoid stepping on used needles and dubious piles of excrement, I'm actually rewarded with a smile, a word of wisdom, or... both.

May Day! May Day!

"I have found the Massachusetts Indian more full of humanity, then the Christians..." 

Thomas Morton

Like punk, May Day originated in the good ol' USA, before it became all the rage and celebrated in many a country abroad as the true worker's holiday. Unfortunately, it was quashed, neutered and then repurposed in the country of its origin to suit the powers that be. Workers' Day demoted to yet another sales holiday, in September- want fries with that?

Where To Invade Next

I was tepid at best about seeing Michael Moore's latest, Where To Invade Next. The previews looked, well... not only lackluster, but silly, seen it before and- no longer funny. But being that we hadn't seen a flick in quite a few, off we went- and I celebrated by taking... my first senior discount ($1.50- Woo Hoo!).

Surprisingly, the movie itself did not disappoint. Unfortunately, at this point, Moore's movies only preach to the choir- it's pissed off Trump Republicans that need to watch and learn. Watch and learn how the US has chucked, forsaken and forgotten what once made this country great- and what we could now undertake to heal, repair and restore. As usual, Conservatives go on and on about how the US is overtaxed, and yet they never mention the crippling amounts we have to pay for: health care, higher education and a whole host of other social/civic services that we either pay top dollar for- or (increasingly likely) learn to do without. Our health, economy and hopes breaking down before our eyes just as the very environment and infrastructure we so desperately depend upon. And as Moore points out, insult to injury- many of the very ideas that could alleviate so much suffering and right so many of our current economic and social ills that other countries so effectively employ... originated right here in the good ol' US of A!

Sadly we have allowed ourselves to become so tone deaf and dumbed down, so marginalized in our own frustration, that we can only now seek to blame others as we mindlessly chant on in ever increasing fervor- USA, USA, USA...

Season's Greeetings!

Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore's (R) interpretation of Matthew 5:5.

Currently clocking in at about 40% of capacity from my most recent loss to the flu (think Rousey/Holms, the extended version), I was aching to return to normal society- but alas, that feeling for human vitality and normalcy were cut short with last week's insanity. A sickening, deadening insanity that has metastasized into what now flauntingly mocks normalcy. Ignorance, fear and neglect begetting a violence so mindless that it in turn erodes the sanity and response of those of good will still remaining. So we never address the root cause(s), never attempt to dialogue, never ever dare to even consider a reset.

It's so easy to point at those 'dumb' kids shooting hell outta each other in every inner city in this country. They never learn, it's just their lot- just don't dare make same said and simple observation when it comes to the world at large... the one adults roam and rule.

So we will continue to threaten and arm ourselves for: prevention, protection, retaliation. Our planet is dying all around us, but not to worry: kick back with your Big Gulp, Supersize that Happy Meal, and make sure ya got enough hollow points to outlast your fries- You're Good To Go!!!

Barefoot, Tech Savvy and Fancy Free

Photo: © S. Banos

Like others, I too am intrigued by extremes, extremes of: technology, beauty, power, money, intelligence... The latter has always particularly fascinated me since so many people can be so smart about some things, and so terribly, terribly daft about others. I'm not the brightest bulb around, but I can shed a fair share of light on some of life's concerns large and small- on others, I'm good for 2 watts, literally. Most people are like that, some measure of balancing act to one extent or another. Some have not only aspired to, but have even become President using only those 2 watts!

Yes, W proved you don't have to be a rocket scientist or a brain surgeon to be President. But this guy tops that, this guy is beyond that, this guy I cannot fathom or make sense of to any degree, in any fashion. Just what dear lord, does one possibly make of a goddamn 100% legit and actual... Brain Surgeon- a brain surgeon who repeatedly comes up with the dumbest, most moronic, most incredibly stupid comments imaginable!? I've never witnessed anything like this my entire life. Ben Carson, as a doctor, has the power to access, influence and control the most intricate biology on earth governing human thought and... intelligence. And yet, as a human, he cannot rise beyond a simple buffoon.

The Black And White Of It

After seeing this photo of a Black officer aiding a White supremacist on Yahoo "News," had to see the sorry ass excuses and explanations that racists would be falling over themselves to make in the commentary. And certainly wasn't disappointed, the very first I read accused him of being a... Nationalist Socialist! Get it? No, that's not a Nazi Aryan White Supremacist- he's a Socialist- a Communist, like Lenin, Stalin... Barack Obama and Bernie Sanders!!!

You-can't-make-this-shit-up...

Been A Swell Ride- FAREWELL, AND PEACE...

I was looking at my website recently, and despite my plethora of art world rejections (as regular readers will attest), couldn't help feel some small sense of accomplishment. It was short lived. This weekend I discovered that much if not all of my 'photographic legacy' had been damaged to some extent by some insidious mold, fungus, whatever. Losing one's original images is every photographer's worst possible nightmare- losing all one's equipment is a cakewalk in comparison. You can never get back yesterday, the year before, let alone any decade previous.

Photography has been my one personal joy (and torment), and my photographs, more than anything, are my... friends. They accompany me throughout life, some go back aways and we know each other well, others, newly formed acquaintances, and we're just starting to have fun. But young or old, new or familiar, we were all family- and I wanted to protect them.

And protect them I did in a small, fireproof safe- but it was my very precautions that would prove my undoing. I 'upgraded' to a modestly priced safe that was not only fireproof, but also supposedly waterproof, complete with rubber linings. It helped put my mind even further at ease- not only would my precious negs not melt into an unrecognizable blob, they also wouldn't suffer water damage form the fireman's hose. I'll never know if those seals would have ever done their job of keeping water out, unfortunately, they were more than capable of keeping moisture in, therefore providing an excellent environment for negative devouring fungus/mold. How's that for some wicked Greek tragedy?

So now I get to wake up every morning for the rest of my life, and the first thing, the very first fuckin' thing to come to mind is- how does losing some of the most important moments in your life for the last forty years feel, Stan? Hhhhmmmm???

People tell me tomorrow is another day, there'll be other pictures to take. They mean well, and yes, there (hopefully) will. But how does one relive and redo the fleeting moments of forty years of youth? When you're about to break that most disgusting of numbers... 30 may be the new 20, 40 may be the new 30, 50 may be the new 40, but 60 is still fucking 60, and it sucks any way you look at it. And yes, I fully realize there are people throughout the world with much greater and much more pressing, real life problems- like... where are they going to eat or sleep at day's end? Granted.

I always strive to turn things around in some positive manner when hit by one of life's seemingly endless supply of pernicious, personal injustices. One of the reasons I feared this one so, is because I full well knew there would be no recourse, no positive spin, no happy face to put on it. Still, deal with it I somehow must- if only for my own sanity.

I took the following day off work (I could barely function), sat down and started cleaning said negatives with Edwal's film cleaner (Isopropyl alcohol) and managed to get through 350 strips of negatives (from 9AM to 1AM)- and that is just the start. I hope to salvage around 60% (maybe more) of my work- the alcohol actually cleans up some of the fungus on the less affected negatives and should cease any further damage; those more heavily damaged can only await some miracle software of the future. After cleaning, my first move, my only move, is to make high resolution files of what remains and go about restoring them as best possible with my admittedly limited skills. Hopefully, I'll be able to salvage enough to ultimately self publish what remains. Point is, that's one helluva load of work that starts now, and ends...

------------------------------------------------------------

Which means my friend, that Reciprocity Failure has finally come to the end of its run. Perhaps, I'll post something in a fit of rage, or perhaps in a year or two to update my progress; but for all practical purposes- it really has been fun. Thank you, one and all (truly) for dropping by. Keep caring, keep shooting- and best to all...

The Christian Capitalist

Remember how Christ always preached that charity began with Capitalism, how he lovingly reminded lepers to stop begging for entitlements and pick themselves up by their bootstraps, and commanded the dead to raise their own damn selves up without the aid of Big Government?

Well my friend, THIS traces the history of those classic Christian economic, self help favorites- and if you act now, we'll also throw in Christ's Twelve Easy Steps To Wealth and Prosperity at no extra charge (and that's one parable you won't find in your Bible)!

Too Good To Win!

So eternal optimist/glutton for punishment enters his first competition of the year: it seemed respectable enough with proper rules, rights and jury- what's to lose, besides another, rather reasonable entry fee, and perhaps the last remaining vestige of whatever's left of my once youthful pride and dignity?

The results... the usual- with a twist. A very nice person involved in the competition (but not the judging) emails to tell me how much they liked my work, then asks if it was "a positive experience," and if I had any pertinent feedback. I reply that: I appreciate that their judging occurs anonymously (w/o the entrants names attached), but am very much surprised that an already familiar photograph that has already garnered critical acclaim won first prize, and that not even making it unto the honorable mention shortlist can't exactly make for "a positive experience." I receive yet another response saying said person just viewed my website and that with work that good... I didn't really need them! Seriously, they-actually-said-that. The guy who wins is represented by Panos and Getty, has appeared in Nat Geo, The Guardian, The BBC, etc, etc... he just "needs" it more than me!!!

Of course! It was as I had suspected all along, years of artistic trials and tribulations have finally honed me into a paramount creative force that has seen me progress and evolve from someone simply beneath consideration- to someone well beyond any possibility of ever being considered!!! This is the year...

I - HAVE - ARRIVED. 

The Five Che's

Photo: © S. Banos

When all the anti Castro, anti diplomacy, anti negotiation diehards protest against opening relations with Cuba because of their human rights violations, it sometimes gets me to wondering how hard they protest our own abuses right here at home... or if they're too busy making their way to buy cheap Chinese made goods at the local box store.

A Season Of Faith And Faithlessness...

Great little video, though I think it would have been better still minus the "faith plug" stuck in at end. While I most definitely believe in a higher power, the history of religion(s) preventing war and conflict throughout the world, and history is... well, let's just say they're a tad better at starting them; in fact, the case can actually be made that organized religions are also quite adept at making conflicts harder to solve.

I choose to place my trust in people whose faith comes in dealing directly with humanity: honestly, peacefully, without bias for god or country. Put your faith in that cause and one will follow in the best tenets of any major religion by default...

Happy Homeless Savior Day!

Photo: © S. Banos

Happy Holidays- as many of us ready to celebrate, headed to the church of our choice, merrily navigating our way round those damned homeless we may encounter along the way, cussing the very sight of them, rejoicing when at distance. Needless nuisances marring our way to worship the birth of Our Lord and Savior, the homeless baby boy from the homeless family no one wanted any part of...

(Thanks, Bruce!)

"People who talk about racism are racists!"

Exactly!  Just as everyone knows that people who talk about anti-Semitism are... anti-Semitic.

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook,Daily Show Video Archive

A Tale Of Three Heroes

Henk Zanoli,  Gen. Majid  and  Witness B-129. 

Even thankful tasks are often... thankless.

Going 180 in a 360 Circle...

This truly embraces so many of the complex and seemingly irrational conundrums that life constantly throws our way. It outrages, confuses, offers hope and betrays. Really, you want more?

Too Crazy, Too Lazy To Fix...

 Or better yet:

"'No Way to Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens."
 --The Onion

This is a country at war with itself for profit. This is a country at war with itself because its ruling elite is too cowed, or too well-bribed, or too cowardly to recognize that there are people who are getting rich arming both sides, because the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun, so you make sure that it's easy for the bad guys to get guns in order to make millions selling the guns to the good guys (emphasis mine).    --Charlie Pierce

But two of the notable quotes from one of the better pieces I've seen written on the reoccurring atrocities we now take in accustomed seasonal stride. By golly, if we were an agrarian society we could now dispense with star sightings and seasonal shifts, relying instead, on our regular bloodletting of the innocents to plant and harvest our crops... like the virginal offerings of olde to the troublesome gods of fertility.

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook,Daily Show Video Archive

Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures.

Girl goes to Starbucks: 46 pictures.        ---Will Ferrell