On Portraiture, And The New Year...

Guess this the time where we reflect on the passing year, and contemplate the new. It's been an interesting one for sure- photographically and otherwise. Not going to post a best of book list (just click on photo books on the lower right for that). Will say this- surprised I survived yet another year in blogdom; seems every time I was about to call it a day, something else would come up to inspire anew. Don't know if that will continue into the new year- plus, it finally looks like I'm going to embark on a portrait project that's been on the backburner for many a year. I love looking at portraits (incl the few decent ones I manage to take), but don't especially enjoy taking them (ie- interacting with fellow humans). My feelings on humanity are mixed to say the least, equal measures of: revulsion and empathy, disgust and admiration, pity and pride. More importantly, many times, even you don't know exactly what you're trying to get in a portrait, as you continue to chip away in the hope that something will come up to give it the spark of life that will separate it from your average snap shot. It is after all, a fairly intense experience with very minimal tools at your disposal, particularly when operating with little more than subject and backdrop. Sometimes it works out- gloriously so; most times, not so much... least for me.

And then you're stuck having to explain that it's not their fault; in fact, it's your fault, and your fault alone for not being able to express what attracted you in the first place- your lack of vision, your lack of artistry. And then after you hear it emanate and spill out your own mouth, you can well expect to experience their dashed hopes, their disappointment, and (sometimes) even their veiled resentment. So why the hell did you waste their time and effort, why the pretense, why walk around with that camera like you're all that if you don't even know what the fuck you're doing!?!?

Which is why I generally shy away from formal portraits, unless the shame of not doing it absolutely exceeds the possibility of all the aforementioned. Which is exactly the case here; just gotta try! Perhaps if I don't post much it means it is, in fact, going well- or that I'm in absolute hell, cursing myself for knowingly going where I'm not at all comfortable. Yeah, I know all the stuff about creating your best when you go outside your comfort zone. Whatever. Still have more aplenty to explore within that relative "comfort zone," but truth is, I can't afford to travel anymore and photograph what I like, so it's a helluva lot cheaper to try and make the world come to me. I'll be over the moon if I can get a dozen good strong images outta this and pay my subjects 'justice.' On the other hand, if all else fails, I'll be damned if I don't get at least one decent shot for the effort before I close it down as a noble failure.

So, we'll see... This time next year might have something interesting to report (and show), otherwise- don't ask! Whaddayou got planned down the line...