Thursday, September 13, 2012

Out Of The Furnace- Worst Movie I (N)ever Saw

So I get free passes for a screening of an about to be Hollywood extravaganza called Out Of The Furnace. We wait on line, sign our names, their non disclosure forms, provide ID and personal info, and just before we enter, we're told we have to hand in our cell phones for which they will not be responsible. Confiscation is not in their literature. Mine's a cheap ass dumb phone but my wife balks at first with her iPhone before finally relenting.
  •  All non-camera cell phones and pagers must be off or on silent mode during the screening.
  • No audio or video recording devices will be allowed into the theater, including but not limited to camera phones and PDAs. If you attempt to use a recording device you will be removed from the theater immediately, forfeit the device and you may be subject to criminal and civil liability.
Then they inspect my bag... "Sorry you can't bring in a camera." I explain it's OK, that it's just a film camera. The female inspector hesitates, and then simply advises me not to take it out during the movie. I, of course, agree but a second guy interrupts, "Sorry, no electronics." I politely explain it's not "electronic," it's a film camera that can only takes stills. A third guy says, "Sorry, no electronics." I explain a little more slowly, with more enunciation and clarity in my voice that this is, in fact, a manual, film camera. "Sorry, no electronics of any kind." Now the kid's pissed! I take the camera out, show them, ask if they see an LCD screen anywhere. "We're just following rules- No Electronics!"

I switch tactics. I agree with all three that everyone should follow their rule, it's a very fine rule, one that should be followed by all, and for good reason; we just happened to get off on the wrong foot here- since clearly... This It Is Not an "Electronic!" "Sir, you cannot..." They continued their inane mantra, and by now the wife has retrieved our cell phones, grabbed me by my sleeve and is guiding me out the Exit door under the watchful eyes of security as I continue on about: still vs video, film vs digital, electronic vs...

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